So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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