Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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