come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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