FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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