I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
