okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
