Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
my being single is dangerous.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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