Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Randomize
