Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
This couple is walking their pig around campus
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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