i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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