He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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