didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
