I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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