Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Randomize
