Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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