i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
