Ambien. No doubt about it.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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