We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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