thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
