Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize