I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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