Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
