then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
