For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
