I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize