ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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