i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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