the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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