whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
