They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
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