Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
