i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
You can't motorboat a personality
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
