you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
