I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
We had sex on a dog bed..
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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