one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize