I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize