And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
