I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
