stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
