I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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