I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize