how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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