i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
