He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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