im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
