go do what you do best...puke behind churches
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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