Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
