She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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