seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
should my penis look like a turkey
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
