Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
