tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
