someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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