This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize