He felt like a one man threesome
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
