I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
