you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
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