Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
