we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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