On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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