My balls are so social today.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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