i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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