My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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