Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
